Jayson Albright: Jay Droppings

Pee Wee Gets an iPad!

2010-04-03T13:13:00.000-05:00

YES!

Straight from the fine folks at Funny or Die, Pee Wee gets an iPad and shows it off to the Playhouse gang!

Pee-wee Gets An iPad! from Pee-wee Herman

Muppets "Stand By Me"

2010-04-02T12:37:00.002-05:00

Big Mean Carl as a big mean bunny? Yes please!

I could not be any happier that The Muppets have featured Big Mean Carl in their latest web video. "Stand By Me" takes place at dusk in a forrest-ey area, with BMC hopping into frame wearing a pair of bunny ears and carrying a huge carrot. "I'm a bunny!" he exclaims before launching into the song and... I'll leave the rest for you to watch in the vid.

What's great about this addition to the growing number of quality viral vids from The Muppets is that this is a direct descendent to the random grab bag of productions featured on "The Muppet Show." Random in it's setting, random in it's idea, and especially random in it's featured character.

I was thrilled when BMC made a cameo in The Muppets' take on Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody." BMC was easily one of my favorite bits on the close-but-not-quite-right "Muppets Tonight." If memory serves me he actually only popped up twice, but was hilarious in both appearances.

With The Muppets setting the stage for their big screen return, as well as introducing themselves to a whole new generation through these online vids, it's interesting that they have given such a minor character like Carl the chance to star in his own bit. Again, as a long time devotee of The Muppets I'm thrilled, but these vids are coming out so far apart from each other, I figured they would be hitting all the regular characters first in order to get the new audience up to speed on who does what within the group.

This was actually the brilliance of the "Bohemian Rhapsody" vid. For the first time in a LONG time, the current crop of Muppeteers nailed the characters. Each one was featured in the video in the exact way that they should have been, right down to The Electric Mayhem rocking it out with self-referential lyrics (Dr. Teeth: "So I'm told that this video is gonna fly/All I know is we're not getting paid tonight"). When was the last time we saw that? Although if I may nitpick slightly, Zoot should have been allowed to play. Just saying.

Even Kermit, who I have long griped has lost his original well-rounded character and become an "optimist all the time" parody of his former self, was right on the money. His reaction to the song was perfect; we could easily read between the lines how frustrated it is at times to work with this group of weirdos (if I may borrow from Sam the Eagle).

Basically, what I'm saying is that it appears - FINALLY - that The Muppets are truly shaping up to return to the character-driven comedy that served them so well while Jim was still with us. And truly, that was the thing that prevented The Muppets from sustaining themselves all these years. Once Jim passed (as well as Richard Hunt), their characters by-and-large were benched (Rowlf, Dr. Teeth, Janice, Scooter, etc). The problem with this is that The Muppets worked so well because you really got the sense that they were a family. These were characters that cared for each other, who enjoyed working together, and who each filled a particular niche within the group.

This was the problem with projects like the aforementioned "Muppets Tonight." The show featured a house band of random Muppet what-nots playing the opening credits behind show host Clifford. The band never spoke. So WHY NOT go ahead and have The Electric Mayhem be the house band? That would certainly have explained Animal's scattershot appearances on the show. Character-wise, it made no sense for Animal to be randomly hanging around without his bandmates. Just as it made no sense for this family of characters NOT to use it's own established band for it's latest television project.

So Cheers to the latest Muppet viral video for continuing this character-driven renaissance!

A Better 'Battle' Plan

2009-11-17T02:47:00.001-06:00

John Mayer’s latest album, “Battle Studies,” is for me a study of frustration. Mine, not his.

Don’t get me wrong; this is another album of great songs that get stuck in your head almost immediately, full of John’s trademark turns of phrases and understated guitar mastery. Yes, I found myself - for the first time on a Mayer record - playing the sounds-like game (that sounds like a ‘Heavier Things’ castoff, that’s a Trio track…), but overall there was a bigger problem that at first listen I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

Okay, at fourth listen I couldn’t put my finger on it. But something was definitely off.

I went online to read some reviews, all of which were middling (the typical review seems to run in the B- ballpark), but none of them pointed me towards the issue I was having.

Then it finally hit me like a Steve Jordan snare slap: it had nothing to do with the album’s tone. Nothing to do with the songs themselves. What it boiled down to was something John had been successful with on previous albums but seemingly mucked up this time around:

Sequencing.

The song cycle on “Studies” is off. And I just can’t get past it, no matter how many times I listen to it.

So I fixed it.

Here’s a look at the new track listing, followed by the reasoning:

01. Heartbreak Warfare

02. Edge Of Desire

03. Who Says

04. Perfectly Lonely

05. Do You Know Me

06. Half Of My Heart

07. Assassin

08. Crossroads

09. War Of My Life

10. All We Ever Do Is Say Goodbye

11. Friends, Lovers, Or Nothing

Let’s break it down.

His opener and closer are perfect. “Heartbreak Warfare” is his best album opener to date, and “Friends, Lovers, or Nothing” picks right up where “I’m Gonna Find Another You” left off. His first ordering misstep is that he follows “Warfare” with “All We Ever Do Is Say Goodbye,” a great song that is simply too grandiose to be positioned anywhere but as the album’s penultimate song.

“Edge Of Desire,” on the other hand, is a perfect followup to “Warfare” both tonally and lyrically. It’s our new Track #2.

Track #3 was originally the Fleetwood Mac-ish “Half Of My Heart,” John’s “duet” with Taylor Swift. The song is good, but sounds out of place in third position. Bump up first single “Who Says” and follow that up with the standout “Perfectly Lonely.” Close out the first half of the album with the quiet “Do You Know Me” and now “Half Of My Heart” sounds perfectly radiant kicking off the album’s second half.

The next few songs remain untouched. Eighties-inspired “Assassin” flows effortlessly from “Heart” and leads brilliantly into “Crossroads.” And despite the fact that I’m still not sure it shouldn’t be pulled all together, I left “War Of My Life” for track 9. It’s a fine song, but seems more like a “bonus track” to me. “Heartbreak Warfare” covers the whole Love-is-War thing to much more thrilling effect.

After repeated listens between the original and remixed running orders, I’m convinced this is a much smoother track list that enhances each and every song tenfold.

That’s really the problem I had with “Battle Studies” at first; it just played like a collection of songs and nothing more. Now, with my remix, I feel like I have an “album” to listen to, and I find it as a whole to be a much more enjoyable affair.

Listen for yourself. Am I wrong? Was “Battle Studies” fine as it was? Is there a better running order than the one I suggest? Are there other albums you feel would be better overall listening experiences if they were sequenced differently?

Preparing for 'Battle'

2009-11-15T16:08:00.001-06:00

I‘m having a hard time with John Mayer’s latest release, “Battle Studies.”

That’s the next post, though. In this post, I want - nay, need - to firmly establish that I am a John Mayer fan. In fact, I’d like to proudly point out that I was a John Mayer fan before he was JOHN MAYER.

Rewind button… ACTIVATE!

I first caught Mayer on Zach Galifianakis’ short-lived VH1 variety show (anyone else remember? Anyone?). I was only half-watching at the time; if memory serves me I was folding clothes or something. Zach started an introduction and mentioned this was the performer’s television premiere, so I figured, “Okay, let’s give this guy a listen and see if he’s any good.”

I was floored.

John performed his debut single, ‘No Such Thing” and everything about the song spoke to me; the lyrics, the tune itself, this kid who was scrunching up his face feeling every note he sang. I say kid, but the truth is it hit me the way it did because John is only two years younger than myself.

Off that performance, I couldn’t get my hands on his debut album fast enough. And like that performance, ‘Room for Squares’ hit me in a major way. I found myself identifying with every song: he coined “quarter life crisis” in “Why Georgia,” giving a name (and to a degree clarity) for my own recently-over rough patch. ‘My Stupid Mouth’ eerily described my dating life to a tee. I even admittedly identified with the much-maligned “Your Body is a Wonderland,” and to this day will cry ‘bullshit’ if a guy claims he can’t relate to lines like:

Something ‘bout the way the hair falls in your face

I love the shape you take when crawling towards the pillow case

Any guy who’s ever been in love (or infatuated, or horny) has had a thought like that. Especially in their early twenties.

I told everyone I knew about John Mayer. I urged them to buy his album. I followed up to see if they had.

I hit Napster (ah, Napster…) to find additional Mayer. It was here I first learned that John’s recorded self did not truly paint the full picture: THIS guy was AWESOME on guitar! There wasn’t even a hint of it on ‘Squares!’

I found tons of live acoustic tracks - done both solo and with long-time bassist David “DeLa” LaBruyere - that showed off John’s considerable chops. To this day, I can’t believe he hasn’t dusted off some of these arrangements and put them to disc. Amazing stuff. The tracks also further showcased his grasp of great pop arrangements AND introduced me to his self-depricating humor.

I was hooked.

I felt a connection to this singer/songwriter. John was my generation, dealing with the same insecurities and struggles, the same questions and concerns, and the same triumphs and disappointments. I appreciated his humor, his talent, and the fact that pretty girls seemed to dig him, too, making his music an excellent conversation starter.

The next logical step was to see him in concert, which I did in Chicago during his first major tour promoting ‘Squares.’ I’ve seen him many times since, but that first show remains my favorite. It was general admission, in an old steel mill, and it was a relatively small crowd. We were extremely close to the stage, and the show itself was just plain GOOD. We all walked out even bigger fans than when we entered.

The best was his encore, which started as just John on a side stage. He played “Love Soon,” a track from his LP, “Inside Wants Out”; an unreleased song I was aware of from Napster (“Sucker”); and my absolute favorite version of “Comfortable” ever - with the subtle lyric change of, “I loved you… I still do… no makeup… so flawless.” He followed this mini-set with a RIDICULOUS full-band “Neon.” I won’t even attempt to describe the aural AND visual explosion that was this song (world’s away from the one included on his live DVD from that tour, “Any Given Thursday”). Best show closer to this day, easily.

My enthusiasm for Mayer’s work has not diminished over the years. I still listen to him regularly, eagerly anticipate and devour any new material, and continue to catch him live whenever I can. I’ve even had the pleasure of singing “Good Love Is On The Way” with a couple of bands I've been in.

So it is within this headspace that I listened to his latest album, “Battle Studies.”

Which makes my next blog all the harder to write.

TO BE CONTINUED TUESDAY…

Levi Johnston's Johnson

2009-11-02T15:37:00.002-06:00

When did Levi Johnston’s life become an ongoing SNL sketch?

Johnston, who’s claim to “fame” is impregnating Sarah Palin’s daughter, clearly has no love for his former in-laws-to-be. Since splitting with Bristol Palin, he has done nothing but talk smack about the ex-Vice Presidential candidate and her family, most recently claiming that she called her Down syndrome afflicted son Trig “retarded.”

But why stop at trying to embarrass your son’s family when you can just as easily embarrass yourself?

Seriously, tell me this doesn’t sound like the setup to a comedy sketch: Tank Jones, Levi’s newly appointed manager, announces that his client will pose nude for Playgirl magazine. “The hell with fifteen minutes!” he exclaims. “As a matter of fact, when I picked him up, he came out of the house naked. I said, ‘not now!’”

Cue canned laughter.

That quote is actually from Us Magazine, and was followed with this one from Tank: “I’m going to make sure it’s something he’s comfortable with and tasteful. This is art.”

No, this is a shameless grab at whatever offer comes his way while it’s coming.

But wait! Our sketch gets even better!

Tank - TANK! - claims to US that “This is not about the money! I don’t remember how much it is. It’s a little bread.”

Also, Tank is actually a Private Investigator! That Levi met at his mom’s hearing for selling prescription medication! And the idea for the Playgirl gig was hatched during a photo shoot for Vanity Fair!

Yep. VFair shot behind-the-scenes footage, and at one point Tank point-blank asks Levi, “You ever thought about doing Playgirl?”

Levi is visibly caught off guard. “Is that a serious question right now?”

“I was just talking to some people at Playgirl.”

“I’d do it,” Levi says, more for show than anything. “If you could get me in there.”

A voice from VFair asks if Levi has ever read Playgirl.

“I’m guessing it’s a dude posing for women,” he gamely throws out.

“Yeah, well…” interjects Tank, “You gotta have some Johnson. You can’t come in there lacking in the Johnson area. You gotta be able to unfold some things.”

They continue back and forth like this for a bit, with Tank ultimately saying, “I’m gonna call these people and cut that out right now. Cuz we ain’t doing Playgirl.”

Looks like the kid who wrote in VFair that he was “a country guy” who “didn’t want to be involved in anything that would put [him] in front of thousands of people” changed his mind.

I assume Levi’s SNL character (inevitably played by Andy Samberg) would throw up his hands, look comically embarrassed, and sum up his decision to do this with his popular signature catchphrase:

“Levi looooves the bread!”

Ashlee = FIRED

2009-10-23T19:27:00.003-05:00

I can’t believe I’m writing about this two times in a row.

Two days ago I posted about my love for Ashlee Simpson-Wents on Melrose Place. Her unconvincing turn as a living, breathing human being living in an apartment complex has me riveted every week.

So you can imagine my disappointment reading today’s news, broken via the awesome Michael Ausiello over at EW.com. Per Mike:

Two months into its run, The CW’s ratings-challenged (but creatively-smokin’) Melrose Place reboot is about to undergo a major renovation. For starters, Ashlee Simpson-Wentz and Colin Egglesfield have been let go (they’ll last air in January), and the “Who Killed Sydney?” mystery is being wrapped up in December.

Bummer!

Now, what’s fun about all this is that the producers are claiming this was the idea all along. You know, despite all the pre-season hype about a SEASON-LONG murder mystery.

According to Ausiello’s interview with exec producers Todd Slavkin and Darrn Swimmer, they planned it this way from day one.

TODD SLAVKIN: Well, we always knew that this murder mystery would end in episode 12. And we always knew that [Ashlee's] character of Violet would be instrumental in that as a suspect, and [Colin's character of] Augie as well. And once that murder mystery was solved, she would go on her way. That was the original plan going into the development of the show.

So it was always the plan for Ashlee to leave after episode 12?
SLAVKIN: Yes. Because we felt that once the murder mystery was resolved, the tone of the show was going to shift into a much more fun, romantic, sexy upbeat kind of show, and [her] character would move on.

Malarkey!

I’ll buy that the plan has always been for these two characters to be tied up in Syd’s murder. Since the pilot, when Egglesfield’s “Auggie” was shown burning bloodied evidence, I suspected he was covering for someone else (surely they wouldn’t show us the murderer in episode one). Him looking out for “innocent” Violet makes sense knowing these two will be leaving.

But them claiming the murder mystery would be wrapped in just twelve episodes is bull. This is them covering up for the fact that Ashlee is awful and the upcoming arrival of Heather Locklear is awesome. They switched gears, period.

Oh well. Great news for the show, sad news for me!

Ashlee = AWESOME

2009-10-21T21:26:00.001-05:00

Last night was the latest installment of the awesome new Melrose Place.

Stop laughing.

It is awesome. It is! Though not for any reason the series can be proud of.

I never would have imagined writing this, but here goes:

I am hooked on the new Melrose Place thanks to Ashlee Simpson-Wentz.

Let’s back up. I’ll admit Melrose 2.0 is a show I never intended to watch past the pilot. I was curious how the new series was being set up - classic character Sydney, now the landlord of Melrose Place, is found dead in the pool - and figured I would tune out after seeing what they did with that.

I can’t stop watching. It doesn’t matter that the new version is borrowing directly from the old version’s playbook: start out lame, introduce Heather Locklear, get campier. But since there’s no guarantee Heather’s November return will make it any better, why bother?

Ashlee Simpson-Wentz.

She’s horrible. Comically horrible. Wonderfully, comically horrible. Watching her on Melrose is the highlight of my week.

What’s amazing is that the writers continue to give her “juicy” bits of business despite her total inability to do anything more than 1) turn to whoever is making sounds; 2) blink; then 3) deliver lines as though she learned them phonetically.

Take last week’s episode, easily the most Ashlee-riffic episode yet. Her character, Violet, decides she’s going to seduce classic Melrose doc Michael to avenge her dead mom, Sydney.

Her plan was to drink a lot of Red Bull (I laughed out loud just watching her drink), complain of a racing heart, get checked out (laughing again as she unbuttoned her shirt making “innocent/sexy eyes”), invite him out for drinks to “thank him,” then f**k him in a car and film it on her phone for blackmail.

Pity poor Thomas Calabro, saddled with having to convince us her plan actually worked. He did what he could, but it was no match for the talent suck that is Ashlee Simpson-Wentz.

His actorly heart might have been saying “seduced,” but his eyes clearly said this was the episode he officially regretted coming back to Melrose.

I’ll be back to Melrose. Every. Single. Week.

So long as the writers don’t wise up, pin Syd’s murder on Violet, get her the Hell outta there, and concentrate on generating some honest-to-goodness HEAT.

Till then: Long Live Ashlee!

Why the Wild Things Are

2009-10-21T00:01:00.003-05:00

“Where the Wild Things Are” opened at Number 1 over the weekend.

43% of the audience was over 18. That this statistic is even being commented on is where things get fun.

See, “Wild Things” is a “kids” movie. Yet if you believe the overwhelming hype, kids probably shouldn’t see it.

Ooooookay.

I keep reading that it's too scary, too complex, too emotional. Kids won’t pick up on the overarching themes.

They’re saying, “Kids won't get it,” but what they’re really saying is, “As an adult, I get this film. There’s no way an 8-year old is capable of getting it like I do.”

Who’s the child here?

That's giving kids far too little credit. In fact, the filmmakers made this film specifically for kids by not pulling any punches and watering it down as so many other films do. Maurice (Sendak, the book’s author) and Spike (Jonze, the film's director and co-writer) were very particular about how they went about this. They got it. So why is everybody else having such a hard time getting it?

Jim Henson got it. “The Muppet Show” was intended for adults, with guests that appealed to adults, gags written for adults, and pithy commentary aimed squarely at adults.

But Jim also understood that the characters at the heart of the show and the way they interacted with each other, that was something kids would plug into. They would be drawn to the energy, the emotion, and the enthusiasm.

Pixar gets it. They don't make "kids" movies. They make movies, period. Their movies speak to all ages for different reasons. A five year old may not "get" the overarching themes of, say, "Wall-E," but they can follow the emotional ups and downs of the film just fine.

When I watch movies now that I loved as a kid, I enjoy them on a much different level. Of course I pick up on things I never caught when I was younger.

But when I watch “E.T.” now, the emotions I felt as a kid stick with me to this day. I jump when Elliot whips his flashlight up at E.T. in the cornfield and E.T. shrieks. I get goosebumply when they fly across the moon. I tear up when E.T. is sick and dying.

Doesn’t matter how many times I’ve seen it. I am 8 years old every single time.

Those emotions stick with me because they were real. “E.T.” was not a “kids” movie. It was too scary, too complex, too emotional. I’m sure I didn’t pick up the overarching themes.

But I loved it. Still do.

Kids know when they’re being talked down to. The fact that “Where the Wild Things Are” doesn’t is what will make it this generation’s “E.T.”

Freelancing So Far...

2009-10-12T15:21:00.003-05:00

I haven’t been full-time freelancing for long, but I’m amazed at how busy I’ve been since taking that plunge.

Mind you, the money hasn’t exactly been pouring in, but I have been busy.

To date, I have worked on several commercial projects that are all in the pre-production phase. Production should be kicking in soon on all all of them, and I’ll be handling the post on most, but until then I won’t see a dime.

Rough? Yes. Worth it? Of course! I’m working with some of my favorite collaborators, and the spots are all going to be a lot of fun.

I’ve worked on some illustration gigs, which have been a blast, and I’ve had a couple of graphic design and creative consulting gigs. Those payments should be coming soon, but I need to find more along these lines to get them bills paid, y’all!

I’ve also been busy on some volunteer projects, in addition to just flat out trying to produce and collect various works for my website. And let’s not forget my ongoing work with Troupe Dynamic!

So all in all, I’ve been a very busy Freelancer Jay. This entire venture is fun, exciting, stressful, exciting, and fun. I have no doubt that this is exactly what I should be doing at this point, but that middle word there in the Exciting Fun Sandwich carries a lot of weight.

Still, that word is in the middle because it is cushioned by my undying optimism and enthusiasm. Does the stress creep in? Of course it does. But I’ve never dwelled on it and I don’t plan to start now!

Of course, it helps to have the support and encouragement of family and friends, which I have in spades.

Here’s to not knowing what the future holds!

Little Things

2009-10-03T16:46:00.002-05:00

It's the little things that make us love something more.

Take "The Office" for instance. Recent press on Jim and Pam's wedding (airing this Thursday) has focused on the atypical progression of their relationship in relation to other TV sitcoms.

Aside from the beginning of the series (when Pam was still engaged to Roy), their relationship has played out in a relatively normal, drama-free fashion. Credit the writers for allowing the story to play out realistically, rather than give us another contrived "Ross & Rachel romance" where the characters take the life of a series to finally get together.

But on top of that, the writers have scheduled Jim and Pam's wedding on October 8th, well outside November Sweeps when a show's wedding episode would typically air. It's another believable breath of fresh air, allowing the characters to marry outside the stock month of most television shows (if not November, then February or May).

Well played, writers and producers of "The Office." Well played.

Beyond Beyonce

2007-12-12T22:19:00.001-06:00

Are you as sick as I am of The Powers That Be trying to convince us that Beyonce is a living legend in her own time?

The fact that she has attached herself to every possible commercial product from makeup to Direct TV isn't the issue (plenty of celebs sell out - er, make smart business decisions - while they can). It's that the media insists on building her up WAY heavier then she deserves at this point in her career.

Their line of thinking seems to be something like this: Has Beyonce had some hits? Yes. OOH! Know who else had some hits? The Beatles. It's like they're the SAME!

The most blatant example of TPTB pushing Beyonce's awesomness upon us happened at last month's American Music Awards. Every single commercial break was preceded by the announcer reminding us that, in addition to all the common people parading around as legitimate music acts, "Beyonce performs what will be the most talked about performance of the night!"

EVERY... SINGLE... COMMERCIAL BREAK. Of course it was a different variation on the theme every time, but she was the ONLY performer they mentioned every single time. You got the impression that if Beyonce hadn't agreed to appear, the entire show would have just imploded.

So what did all the hype lead up to? Was it THE MOST AMAZING, SONICALLY BEAUTIFUL PERFORMANCE EVER??

No. It was country act Sugarland covering Beyonce's "Irreplaceable" in the what might have been the WORST cover of a song in recorded history. And thanks to the endless hyping of Beyonce bestowing upon us a little heaven-wrapped nugget of singing, what should have played out as a cool surprise came as an extremely dull thud as she joined them onstage to sing the second verse. Don't get me wrong, the entire song was horrible. But it might have been a little bit cooler if it was built up as MAYBE Beyonce was a no show, so Sugarland graciously agreed to cover one of the year's most played songs, and then OH MY GOD SHE'S HERE AND SINGING WITH THEM!

Still, it wasn't the worst performance of the night. That would be The Jonas Brothers. It started out promising enough with the middle brother slipping and falling upon his entrance. Just like a car wreck at the races, this is the stuff you hope to catch on a live broadcast. But THEN he fell even further with his shameless Mick Jagger-ing around the stage. Oh my God it was pitiful.

Okay, I'm done now.

Mr. Toilet's House

2007-11-10T12:52:00.000-06:00

I love stories like these.

MSN.com - on their front page, naturally - has a story on a toilet-shaped house built by Mr. Toilet.

Mr. Toilet is a former mayor of Suwon, South Korea (about thirty miles from Seoul). He spearheaded a movement to clean up the nation's bathrooms when they learned they would be hosting events like the 1988 Olympics or 2002 World Cup.

The centerpiece of his 4, 520 square-foot house is a bathroom with glass walls that turns opaque at the touch of a button and plays classical music upon someone entering. Niiiiice.

Oh, and this is truly a toilet-shaped house complete with a bowl on top. But dig this; the bowl was designed to collect the water when it rains for certain functions within the house, helping to conserve drinking water.

You just have to see it to believe it, so check it out HERE.

Shorties

2007-11-07T14:07:00.000-06:00

I am a huge fan of Joss Whedon’s short-lived “Firefly” television series and it’s big-screen incarnation, “Serenity.” I’ve started watching the series episodes again, and something caught my eye that – if I’m not mistaken – has just made this series WAY more awesome!

The biggest star in the world - Zac Effron of Disney’s “High School Musical” fame, duh – plays a younger version of a main character in an episode! Is that not the coolest news EVER? Like, totally OMG!

I’m currently scanning the deleted scenes of “Serenity” to see if Vanessa Hudgens shows up naked. I’ll let you know.

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Over the years I have found the sitcom “King of Queens” to be reliably funny. Arthur? Cracks me up in just about any scene he’s in (ah, the joy that is Jerry Stiller). Having said that, I’ve never really gone out of my way to watch the show, and I certainly have never considered buying seasons of the show on DVD.

Until now.

Tuesday saw the release of the entire series in one complete boxed set. That alone does not set my heart aflutter, but here’s where it gets interesting... Mirroring Doug’s profession in the show, the packaging for the set is in a box shaped like a delivery truck! And the individual seasons are in “packages” that pop out the back!

I know. It’s a disease. But I love gimmicky DVD packaging!

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Each issue of Entertainment weekly – a magazine I eagerly anticipate receiving each week and read cover to cover – ends with one of three columnists sounding off on what’s what in the world of entertainment (my favorite of the three is Stephen King, who muses on all things pop culture and uses the great title “The Pop of King”). This week’s column by Dalton Ross deals with a subject matter I had planned on blogging about myself, and as recently as last Friday had a conversation with someone about. The subject?

How lame the Hollywood Walk of Fame has become.

Like Dalton, I was set off by Ricky Martin’s recent addition to The Walk. Yep, Ricky “Shake Your Bon Bon” Martin. On The Hollywood Walk of Fame.

{Sigh}

Let's be honest; Ricky Martin on The Hollywood Walk of Fame is like officially declaring that a Cheeto is a Vegetable. Reality couldn't get any more warped.

Actually, yes it can. Check out Dalton's piece HERE

Spice World-ish

2007-11-05T20:16:00.002-06:00

I just watched the new music video from the Spice Girls.

Now, love ‘em or hate ‘em, you can’t deny the impact the Spice Girls had back in the day. They brought a fun, sexy, energetic shot-in-the-arm to the music scene with bright and bubbly songs and sugar-coated videos to match.

That was then.

Now we get a slow-moving video and even slower-moving song to herald their return. Seriously, gals; THIS is the song that’s gonna rekindle the world’s insatiable appetite for all things “Girl Power”?

Where’s the fun? Where’s the sexy? Especially where’s the sexy? because that is obviously what you’re trying to sell this time around. From Ginger’s “Look, I’m not only thin now but fairly ripped” outfit and wall-grinding, to Posh’s “I’m thinner and fairly ripped-er” thing (and I call it a thing because there’s no way in Hell what she’s wearing can be called an outfit), the video is easily the laziest comeback vehicle since Britney’s “Gimme More” crapfest.

Watching the video is more amusing when you keep in mind the reports that surfaced from the set. For such a lame setup – put girl here, camera there, light it, roll song, start lip-sync and light rhythmic movement, and cut! – it apparently took FOREVER to film. Granted, we’re talking “forever” in a “I’m-a-huge-star-with-things-to-do” kinda way (times five), but the reports basically claim that all the girls were suffering from fatigue due to the tremendous amount of time they had to give.

I felt the same way watching the damn thing.

Dog Bites, A&E Puts to Sleep

2007-11-03T23:31:00.001-05:00

So yesterday I read that A&E is cancelling their hit series "Dog the Bounty Hunter" due to star Duane "Dog" Chapman's use of the N-word during a phone conversation with his son.

From the Associated Press:

Chapman, 54, has been under fire and accused of being a racist ever since the private conversation with his son, Tucker Chapman, was posted online Wednesday by The National Enquirer. Chapman used the N-word repeatedly about his son's black girlfriend.

Okay. Using the word? WRONG. Using it in a heated conversation with your son about his girlfriend? STUPID.

Know what else is WRONG? The fact that HIS OWN SON had taped this conversation and sold it for a large sum of money to The National Enquirer. Can you believe that?? What, was he not getting any screentime on daddy's show? Seriously, WTF?

Know what else is STUPID? The fact that A&E cancelled Dog's show because of this. Because you know what? Dog has spent time in prison for MURDER. So it kinda reads like this: Murdering someone? We can forgive you for that. Use of the N-word? Don't let the door hit you on the way out.

Seriously, am I wrong about how crazy this seems? I know we live in the age of Don Imus (who will be back on the air in December, just as I'm sure Dog will turn up somewhere again, too), but the fact of the matter is that EVERYONE has said something stupid at one point or another without thinking about it first. I have. You have. Your mother has. And everyone should be able to say I'm sorry and move on from it. You know, like Halle Berry.

Did you hear about that one? Halle was on Leno and made a derogatory and stereotypical remark regarding Jews. She immediately caught herself and even blurted out something to the effect of, "Have I just ruined my career?"

Of course not. And why is that? Why is okay for Halle to say something but not Dog?

Easy. She's one of the Beautiful People.

This takes me back to when Paul "Pee Wee Herman" Ruebens got busted for pulling it out in a porno theater. He was labled a pervert, his show got cancelled, and his career was pretty much over. Right after Pee Wee, Hugh Grant got caught with Divine. He went on Leno, sheepishly said "I'm sorry," and all was well with the world.

Pee Wee wasn't one of the Beautiful People. Neither is Dog.

So I ask you: who really showed the worst judgement in all this? Dog for using the word? His son for taping a private (albeit heated) conversation and selling it to the tabloids? A&E for reacting so soon? Us for letting the Beautiful People get off easy while holding everyone else to a higher standard?

What do you think?